Thesis

A simple thesis I wanted to write “I thought this would be the greatest story love has ever told”. Is it? It may be some kind of a novel or drama, but the perfect term was “FANTASY”…

Time passes by so fast, we never know that each day of our lives we are stepping into a new adventure of our life once again. Busy people around us, walking over, doing the things they need to do for the day, we meet new friends by interacting with other people, we go on with our lives whenever we have problems such that you don’t even see them sad, but the face could hide a thousand feelings that we don’t know that he has the most painful and big problems dealing with. Somewhere behind those scenes we never really expect who will come into our lives; some stay and some go.

It all started from a love story of Midgard called “The Blacksmith and Priestess Tale”. I guess fate must have brought them together like Romeo and Juliet’s “love at first sight” thing. They’ve loved each other so much as if no one could ever tear them apart. Every second has been precious for the both of them as if there’s no tomorrow. The Priestess said to herself that the Blacksmith was her destiny, she loved him so much and she thought that the love she gave to him would satisfy him, the Blacksmith. But seasons changed… The Priestess didn’t know that the Blacksmith found another girl named “Winsome” (Joanne) who came from a good family, rich and beautiful. Until, lots of their friends saw the Blacksmith and Winsome together, they told her about the affairs as if they thought that the Blacksmith and the Priestess was already off. The Priestess became sad and scared that she might lose her love, she tried to forget what her friends told her about those affairs but never did she find peace and she kept it. She even tried to talk to the Blacksmith but he lied to her stating that they he and Winsome were just friends and that the girl has a “suicidal instinct”. The Priestess then believed what the Blacksmith told her which she still gave her trust to the man she loved so much. The issue has somewhat died because the she gave her trust to the Blacksmith, but their friends keeps on asking on what the hell is going on since they kept on telling the Priestess the affair between Winsome and the Blacksmith, every time they do that, she would just keep the pain or else she knows that the Blacksmith would just leave her if she opens up to him. They thought that she knows something and they keep on asking if she’s aware of it, hell no! She didn’t, not until lots of them told her, while some of them keep on advising her to just leave the Blacksmith though they already saw Winsome and the Blacksmith together. The Priestess made her own way to lead her to the truth. She did!! The Priestess saw them with their own eyes and witnessed everything that has happened, as what the Blacksmith told her “To see is to believe”. She became sad, scared and didn’t know where to place herself since she loved the Blacksmith so much more than anything else. She tried to move on quietly if she can, try to overdosed herself, keeps on crying and never eats. The Priestess became moody and she never smiles, she began to cry every hour, minute or second. Tears would just fall involuntarily from her eyes even if she’s at work. The Blacksmith never had communication with her since he doesn’t need anything, he only remembers the Priestess if he needs something.

One of the reason or topic was the “MONEY”. The money has been the Blacksmith’s life. In fact, he owes the Priestess at around P94,806.97 due to he’s need of money. How did he get that money? Through “LIES”… Here’s some of it…

1.) He told the Priestess that he would need the money to provide all the documents and requirements needed for the Toyota, but he never did attended any of their test schedules and interviews, instead he’s with Joanne. That started on May 18, 2005, their anniversary date, which he told the Priestess he had an interview and test with the Toyota
2.) May 19, 2005 – He told the Priestess that he needs money to move out in Elon’s place which Elon told me that the Blacksmith gave the deadline to Elon’s mum when he is going to move out the house where in fact the Blacksmith told her that mum’s Elon told him to move out ASAP. He went to Malate that night with Winsome and JCI to celebrate his birthday where he told her that he was going to have a celebration at Master Diwa’s place and it’s “FOR BOYS ONLY” when it’s not.
3.) He told the Priestess not to go with him to Antipolo. He went to their by telling her that he would just return the budget of Osang when it’s not. The trip was a success! He’s with Winsome. Lot’s of people witnessed that.
4.) He told the Priestess that he would need the money to pay for the rental in Makati or else he’ll move to Winsome’s place. So, the Priestess did everything she could just to provide the money to pay for his rent. While the Blacksmith is already living with Winsome until now in Malabon. He just needed the money for their (Winsome and Blacksmith) outing trip and hatid-sundo from school.
5.) He told the Priestess that he would marry her so he needs money for the processing fee, Sept.25 was the given date, but nothing happened. He paid the wedding for him and Winsome. *Ouch!*

Honestly, the Priestess here is “ME”. There are still lots of lies I know, I know every details and I know if the Blacksmith is lying or not. I just don’t want to react even though I know he’s lying because he needs money, I just give it to him. Like one time, he shows concern to me when I went to the Pateros all by myself just to meet my client to the other real estate, I know he never was concern. He just need the money that would make him do that even if he doesn’t want to show his concern to me. He knows how to get one’s feelings, it only depends if you’ll buy it or not or you’ll just ride with it..? It’s so nice to dwell on what he says and what he promise you, but it will never happen and it’s not real.

Anyway, the whole truth hurts and it stayed inside my heart. Knowing the you have loved the person so much but still you need to stop loving him. It’s been so tough and based to what I’ve experienced. These are some of the thoughts I wanted to share…

“It’s ok to be hurt. You gave your all kasi. Don’t try to understand why or find for reasons why it happened because you won’t find one that will take the pain away. He gave up on you and on what you had. It’s ok to cry mamu. But don’t do stupid things like what I did. Hope I could do more than listen. We fall that normal. But not gettin’ up ain’t.”

“No matter how special or how deep that was shared in a relationship was not enough for them to stay. Even if that person was your life it’s still his decision to leave.”

“In time po you’ll know where you have to be and what you’ll have to do. Hang in there mamu. Don’t forget that there are people who love you and care for you.”

“This too shall pass.”

“Tol, alam ko mahirap tanggapin… Cry all you want, pero wala na magagawa yung iyak mo para bumalik pa sya sayo… If you really love him, wish him good things… Acceptance tol…”

It’s really hard to win him back even if I want to…

1.) He loves Winsome.
2.) He and Winsome are soon getting married. (Dec.10,2005)
3.) He’s living with Winsome’s family.
4.) Winsome’s parents talked to him about the marriage plan.
5.) Winsome is pregnant.