A Secret That Tells I Don't Know What To Do...

Things haven't been so good lately between me and my Sweet Weightless.. I don't know what to do. I've tried to be the best for my Sweet but I think he doesn't seem to realize it or is it that I'm the one who doesn't know how to be the best for my Sweet? Why? Is it because it's always my fault? Why? Because I don't understand my Sweet? I've grown up with a strict parents, I was disciplined that I almost wasn't able to see the world. Honestly, I'm not easy to understand, it's too complicated once you get to know me. I've been emotionally hurted and lots of griefs and hatred are still inside me. It is because on how my parents and friends treats me. How I wish I can go on with my own life now and enjoy. But all of that fades whenever I'm haunted by the things that has happened already. What's past isn't easily forgotten. Some remain in us, some we tend to forget. Plus my Sweet is too sensitive that sometimes it'll lead us always to a fight and arguements. Sometimes I ride with him, or else, things won't go well between us. I want to have more patience in order to work out our relationship. But even if I did, we still fight. It's a matter on how my Sweet will handle the situation though. I base it there! Because, sometimes I can't understand my Sweet. Like I made this blog and told him to visit it if he has time, but what do I get? I thought he'll like it but he didn't, he doesn't understand that he's the one who inspired me to these stuffs. When will he become proud of me as her girlfriend? Some people already did, but what about my own boyfriend? Btw, after he learn about this blog, he wants to erase the blog he did for me, it's just because I made this one, my first blog. Everytime I ask him what's the website addy of my blog, he always tells me that I always write on my blog full of rants, whines and things that I can't tell him. Well, sometimes it's true, because I have good reasons too. If I tell my Sweet a certain problem or some rants, we'll just end up fighting. Then better not tell him right? or I'll end up with his sentence such as: "wag mo ako uunahan", it means, if I'm the one who gets cold first, he'll be cold too. That's the reason why I can't even tell him my rants and stuffs. One more thing, I feel like I'm a boy in our relationship, though "ako sumusuyo sa kanya palagi" unlike what I heard from Sieg and Shaela's relationship, Sieg always look for Shaela in guildchat first while me and my Sweet are the reverse side of it. How about Shaela wanted to leave Insu and quit RO? Sieg just talked to her and now, Shaela is back again, in fact, she's now on a party for leeching in Comodo. Lucky her! Unlike for my Sweet, he'll just end up saying those threatening words and sentences such as: "I'll quit RO"; "We always fight in RO, I'll just quit RO now"; "I'll leave the guild"; etc. How will I compare all these things?