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I don't know what I'm feeling right now, all I know, tears keeps falling involuntarily from my eyes. Seeing my Sweetieby hurt himself after he heard about Lawrence & after I remember Lyle again when my Sweetieby asked me if I know how it feels when you saw someone you love hugs other person. I know how "MUCH" that hurts because it was in Malate that I saw Lyle hugs Joanne, not letting them know I was there standing at the middle of the street looking and staring at them hugging and they were so happy while the rain pours down on me. As Lyle turns his head to where I was standing, I ran fast and find something to cover me so they won't be able to see me. Malate was a nightmare for me, only my Sweetieby changed it somehow because after the night I saw Lyle and Joanne at Malate, I never stepped on that place again. Until I went there with bro and other PC's for GirlText promotions, I thought that I won't remember anything once I go to Malate, but the moment we had a grouping and they pick the streets where we should distribute, I remember everything as what had happened in actual. You guys might wonder how my Sweetieby changed Malate from nightmare into a fairy land? It is after the work in Malate when we first text. Anyway.. My Sweetieby didn't know that I was crying because I really understand how much I've hurt him and I feel the pain I've given him. I felt it much more when he asked me about some stuffs that reminds me of Lyle and Joanne. Oh well, what can say? I'm still thankful that my Sweetieby opened up to me & at the same time I'm so happy that I was able to tell him about Lawrence, I was so guilty though, because I can't keep things from my Love except for this feeling tonight, I really have to because I can't hold back my pain and tears anymore plus the thought that my Sweetieby hurt himself. It really hurts me more if I knew that it is because of me that my Sweetieby hurts himself not only emotionally but also physically.. It's too much for me to take it, I can't stop my tears fall from my eyes even if I like to stop crying, because I love him so much and I don't want to hurt him.. I'm really really sorry my Love..! I'll make sure you'll never feel that way again ever.. MARK MY WORD!!