Friday, February 23, 2007

Back To You

Back to you. Something new right? I can't take what's going on to me, I keep on kicking and punching my head, haven't sleep yet. Next day, when I was on the taxi to go to work, I can't help but cry, so I talked to the taxi driver if we can go to Kyle's place first before I go to work. Even if I'm scared to see him, all I know is that I wanted to feel his hug again. I tried to fix things and wasn't able to go to work. I hugged him so tightly. I tried to hold back my tears but I just couldn't. I don't know if the reason he get back to me is just because he pity me. Why whould I say that? When I went to their house, I just saw him in his mum's room watching tv. When I gave him a hug and cried again, silence roams around the room. I hope he doesn't just pity me that's why he get back to me.

Going back to him, isn't too easy. There are still consequences that I have to deal with.
1.) Normally he calls every 8:30AM and 7:30PM at the house. Sometimes he even calls me anytime he's free within the day. - But not now. He doesn't even call me even if he's out.
2.) I don't know where he's going always. - I should try not to make it a big deal, he might just get mad at me. This can start a BIG FIGHT "again".

There are still lots of things conquering my mind. Still a little bit unrecovered and confused as well. But I'm glad that somehow, me and Kyle are ok.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

One-chan no baka! You're trying to hard! After all the words spoken, all the heartache he's caused, your still willing to chase after him?! Try to think of the implications of your actions.

You said it yourself, things aint back the way it was. Chasing after him may give him the impression that he can do whatever he damned well please cause he knows at the end of the day you'll be desperately wanting to be at his side. Sa tagalog, baka isipin nya na okey lang gawin ang kahit anong gusto nya dahil ikaw ang naghahabol sa kanya. Try asking for ian's or zik's view on the matter. try asking them what their reactions would be if one of their ex comes chasing after them.

The norm is guys chase after girls and not the other way around. With your looks, charm and personality you'll have guys lining up for your attention.

Another thing that bugs me is this getting back together out of pity. Love and pity aint written on the same page in the book called life. Ask yourself if your really content with a relationship born out of pity and not out of love. Your only fooling yourself if you can pretend that pity is love. Trust me when I say that fooling yourself will only add to the pain you'll experience.

Sorry if I sound like I'm angry with you, trust me I'm not. I'm just trying to point out the details you may have missed since people tend to get tunnel vision with this sort of thing. As the saying goes "there are two sides/faces of a coin", I just wanted to show you the other side so that you can factor it in your choice of action. I just dont want you to suffer the pain of making a decision without knowing both sides.