The "BIG" Difference.

First things first, I can't compose a message the way I want it to be. Some of my messages might be out of this topic, but will try to stay on it.

1.) I don't depend on anyone else anymore. Even Mami Teray, Kuya Dan, and Sweetieby knows I'm ok even if I'm not.
2.) "I can't have everything I want!" - Don't even know, where's my BF. If it's other people to meet up with him, he's so fast.

Example:
*9am in the morning.
Kyle: Papaliguan ko pa si Oz.
aBy: Ahh.. Ok..
*9:30am - 10am in the morning (Kyle's at ERS already)

---Difference---

*9am in the morning.
Kyle: Paliguan ko si Oz kasi one week na sya walang ligo.
aBy: Ahh.. Ok.. I wanna see you na eh..
Kyle: Sige na, bibilisan ko na to.
aBy: Ok.
*2pm in the afternoon (sa wakas, he arrived na rin!)

3.) "Nakakatamad at nakakasawa na magkwento ng mga problems." - Helps me to keep quiet and hide my feelings.
4.) Keeping and hiding problems to myself makes me feel 'I'm running away from my problems' and 'It seems that I'm not achieving anything or any goals'. - Makes me short-tempered and sensitive.
5.) Sleepless nights.
6.) Longing for sweetness.
7.) Running away from doing decisions. - Makes me feel hopeless and Helpless.
8.) Avoiding friends, close friends, and etc. - Helps me to not open up with anyone of them.
9.) Wanting to have a vacation due to stress, problems, and stuffs.
10.) Don't mind or expect something from "Promises" too much. - It can break your relationship and it will only break your heart.
11.) I don't deserve it. - That's according to him because I don't listen to him and etc. (How about now? Do I still ask for any help or anything from you?-No! Are you aware of what's going on with me lately?-Nah! Biting nails = Makes me somehow lessen the panic mode "maybe").

My apologies, as of now, I can't continue this topic anymore. "Nakakatamad at nakakasawa na magkwento ng mga ganito and other problems." I think I have to wait for another time when I feel like writing again.